Monday, February 09, 2009

25 things about last week

Yeah, the 25 things thing. It's practically old news by now... But isn't it funny that it's old news 'cause the print media just now picked it up?

In any case, I wanted to jump on the bandwagon (because it is so much less lonely there). And also, I wasn't sure how else to encapsulate last week that wouldn't be totally boring.

1. I bought a multitude of dresses one night because I was very heartbroken.
2. Well, I bought one of the dresses because it was a size small and it fit, the rest were because of heartbrokenness.
3. Oddly enough, after buying all that stuff I didn't need? Still felt crappy. You would think I would have learned that lil chestnut by now.
4. Twice, I had fantastic meals with an engaging companion.
5. I saw Slumdog Millionaire. My friend and I got there so late we had to sit in the very front row. My neck still feels funny, but the movie was as charming as everyone says.
6. I did not see the Wrestler. It is just as well, but I would have rather been at a movie than having my stupid old heart broken for the second time in one week by the same crazy man.
7. Love and I do not see eye to eye. It comes around uninvited, then leaves before dessert. What kind of jerkoff friend is that?
8. While it is true that I fall in love too easily, it is also true that I rarely fall very hard.
9. I don't think I knit a damn stitch all week. I wonder if it's cause I was distracted, hmmm?
10. Running also suffered at the wringing, cold, fingery hands of that rotten tomato, love. I managed to pull off my 7 miler on Sunday, but that was it. The last race is this Sunday, and I cannot blow off my workouts this week or it will kill me.
11. Do I even do yoga anymore?
12. I have two book reviews to write for this here blog, and I have been dragging my feet because I am afraid my book reviews will suck and no one will want to read these two great books.
13. On Friday I quit a decent paying side gig because the tasks required of me felt... sleazy. In a marketing-spam-annoying kind of way, not any other creepy way. But it would have been nice to make that extra money.
14. Something regrettable happened this week in response to all the heartbreak. It might end up really hurting someone else later and I feel just terrible about it. Turns out I can still respond to rejection in pretty immature ways.
15. This whole week I seemed to be repeating patterns I thought I had outgrown. WTF is up with that? It is so fucking frustrating.
16. My friends are predictable.
17. NYC is starting to feel like an impossible goal. I need some of my optimism back, but being crushed over and over sort of knocks it out of you.
18. I am being really melodramatic about my poor heart because Valentine's is coming up, and my "date" has backed out. It is and isn't that big of deal. This guy has broken my heart so many times, it's a wonder I still have any pieces left to care.
19. It is almost time to leave and I still have 5 more to go. This is harder than I thought.
20. Almost every list I have read on Facebook has at least one self-referential item like #19 up there. Now I have two. That's probably about average.
21. One of my biggest fears is being just average.
22. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a loving, committed relationship. No matter what some jackass says over wine at lunch.
23. Goddamn it, I rock. It pisses me off that in a week I can have all kinds of my confidence shook up over a dumb ass who can't see the tree for the forest.
24. I had to write a poem for my Poetry and Prose class and I really didn't want it to be a love poem. All I ever write are love poems. Dumb ass boys.
25. It was totally a love poem.

Here is something I will be thinking about in the next day or two. Guest blogger, Gareth Branwyn, over at boingboing presents an interesting argument for his own pantheon of saints. It is a fantastic little inspiration, and has my mind roiling. Let's discuss this later in the week, when I am feeling less maudlin.

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