"Finding is losing something else. I think about, perhaps even mourn, what I lost to find this." ~Richard Brautigan
I apologize if the nature of this blog is no longer knitterly enough--more than ever I feel that these notes are out into a void--but I am really liking this whole inspired-by-a-quote method of prompts. Also, over at Transatlantic Enchilada, I have posted a couple of new "losers" from last year.
Speaking of last year, it really felt like I lost a lot while I was in it. I have to remember to include the factor of perception, since, in a grander scheme (even from just a slightly elevated viewpoint) I still had a roof over my head, a car to drive to my job, food to eat, and a very charming gentleman caller to take me out on dates. But I did lose my unemployment (and with it, the chance to keep going to school for another semester), my place in Austin, and ultimately my -first- chance at grad school. I also lost several writing competitions and lotteries. It seems like last January was a lifetime ago, while last July just a few months back.
I have been in Arizona almost exactly a year. And I have discovered a lot--about writing, about birds and stars, about being in love, about patience. I lost some material things, some of my optimism, and the certainty of my direction while I found new sources of inspiration, new gray hairs, and expressive paragraphs. I'd have to say that while it has been a difficult exchange, it would be wrong of me to call it unfair.