Friday, March 05, 2010

Waiting all year for next year

There's a lot of chatter over on this MFA application notification post about the merits and demerits of the programs in general. The majority of the 600+ comments are acceptance and rejection reports (so that the rest of us know better when to start worrying over the radio silence) but lately, perhaps as a way of passing what seems like the ENDLESS wait, a few commenters have mentioned why one might not want to spend 2-3 years in a fine arts writing program. Clearly these purport to soothe those of us with only Xes so far. Not that they do; the sour grapes or, even worse, patronizing cynicism from those already accepted, are transparent. There is a nervous-chatter quality to these pretty little speeches. Even still, the oh-so-susceptible/suggestible me has begun to think and rethink.

Some things I've been thinking
  1. Am I just trying to "escape" real life?

  2. If they all say no, will I have the heart to try again next year? Or will I get too superstitious and or bitter?

  3. Was this a dumb/short sighted/irresponsible/fantastic idea?

  4. If they all say no, what happens next year?

  5. If they don't all say no, what happens next year?

  6. It has been so long since I have just lived IN this year, instead of in the next one. It is exhausting.


Things that make me feel settled into the present: growing herbs, baking bread, sewing, walking to work. Hopefully soon, one way or the other.


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