Wednesday, July 22, 2009

T-minus 4 days

I'm sitting at a bar, having a beer, and trying not to explode from moving stress. These men in my life are so frustrated at my need for attention and affection right now: I should be focusing on the move, not them. Anyone else out there think this is one of those boy vs girl things? Right now is when I need kind words and a strong shoulder to lean on the most!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Press restart... and then go

A year ago, I got canned from this pretty good gig (I know that if you are one of my two readers, you already know a lot of this stuff, but bear with me--I'm trying for a flow).

It wasn't the best job in the world, but I felt like I had it pretty good for a cube-dweller. The company seemed to have ideals, and to care about me. I got to travel, and they paid for my Blackberry. I had medical and dental and a 401k.

And then, whoosh!

It is amazing how quickly one can have one's suppositions turned on their little (suppository?) heads: the proverbial eye blinked and I was in the unemployment line. I beat the rush, for whatever good it did me. And I freaked out for a bit.

School helped. I studied rocks for some stability and grounding and wrote to get all that stuff that was in out. I drank too much. Overindulged. Flew around the country for a bit, pretending it was just a long vacation.

I really wanted to want that life back. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it, you know? After the rug is pulled out like that, you start thinking... who needs rugs?

But the not-wanting is not so much of a plan. The not knowing what comes next is bad for my digestion, sleep-cycle, and love life (such that any of those things are). So I started thinking on a plan, a crazy plan. To not go back to that life at all. To instead, go to the life I really wanted: to create, for the majority of my living.

It is fortunate, I feel the need to insert at this point, that back then I did NOT have my heart set on being a ballerina.

Anyway, it was time for some teeth gnashing, trail wandering, hours of hot yoga (that's the unemployed and short attention span afflicted version of soul searching).

The current plan is to go to grad school, get a terminal degree and then teach part time to support my writing habit.

To go back to school and get my MFA, I need to get accepted to a well funded program and get my ass out of debt--in that order. So, on Saturday morning, all of my earthly belongings will head West for Phoenix, AZ. My parents live there and want me to come hang out for a bit, get my finances straight and my applications in the mail. I can't really say that I am excited about Phoenix in the summer... but it is to a good end. So I am going to try to keep the bitching to a minimum.

I hereby make two of my three wishes:

1.) For the health, wealth, and happiness of those I hold dear to continue on for at least as long as I do; and
2.) To get into a fully-funded creative writing MFA program for Fall 2010

three wishes

Saturday, July 18, 2009

A new era?

Maybe this iPhone will mean more posts... Everything is changing. More to come soon, anyone out there (here?) still listening, stay tuned.